Distraction- I spent my childhood working with wildlife, specifically birds of prey. I know MY answer to this question, but I’m curious of your opinion: What species of bird would you say is the biggest dick?

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

Both parrots and crows are intelligent enough to be evil, but only parrots align themselves with it. Crows are culturally chaotic neutral.

Coopers hawks are chaotic chaotic. Herons are lawful evil. Vultures are neutral good.

I have never had an unpleasant interaction with a Canadian goose. I have charged at them many times and they have merely honked reproachfully at me and slowly waddled away. Apart from making a mess, I have not personally observed them acting like dicks… parrots, on the other hand, love to spread terror and will cackle evilly to express their sadistic pleasure.

When geese act like dicks, it’s usually out of an overabundance of protectiveness or territorial nature. Generally because they see you as a threat of some sort. 

Parrots, though? Well. There’s a reason the parrots at my local exotic pet shop (surrenders only, no breeding/wild captures) all have signs on the cages warning people not to get too close. Parrots will bite you and laugh, or learn to call your various other pets over in order to bite them, or rip your keyboard up. Basically, they like to bite things and yell, and seem to find it fun to bite other living things.