Month: November 2018

this guy on the Great British Baking Show tried to make bagels and they went really flat, so he’s being gently kidded at about having invented bagel/flatbread hybrids, “flagels”, and I’m just over here genuinely wanting to try that. I like the outer part of the bagel the most, a flat bagel would be ALL outer part.

Somebody make me the flagels!

Also, I learned that bagels are made by poaching the dough shapes before baking, which is why they have that skin and the texture. I’m a fan. Bagels are the best possible bread component of a peanut butter sandwich, IMO.

butchpilotpearl:

Also I love how Rose must’ve just…watched this fuckin baby gradually crawl all the way across the beach and onto the boardwalk. how long did that take. can you imagine, her bending down to his level patiently following him like “yes! choose your own path!” 

and she’s just watching him in complete wonderment meanwhile baby sour cream is scaling death-defying heights but Rose is just so proud like “yes, do as you like! invent yourself!”

Someone really should’ve told her that babies are both very determined and very fragile.

crownofpins:

istehlurvz:

I dedicate this to Baba by @crownofpins because 1, it def inspired it, and 2, that fic is the whole reason im spiralling out of control so like, thanks for my life i GUESS 

PLEASE ASK BEFORE USING!

Leave me a tip!

Commission Info

Patreon // Store // Stream

H- HOLY SHIT???? This is so beautiful and I’m so grateful to lay my eyes on this magnificence hdlamxnakalls

THANK YOU I LOVE YOU KISSES STAY HYDRATED

Chicken is to quail as pork is to Canadian bacon; one tends to have more flavor and different tones, and the other definitely should have plenty of seasoning, but both are good and both are clearly somewhat related.

My asshole cat

drferox:

My cat, Storm, is an indoor/outdoor cat, because we believe he deserves that freedom. He’s smart, tough, and always comes home (we lock the cat door after dark when he comes in). But he is a tomcat and gets into fights with the neighborhood cats.
Sometimes when he does get into fights, he gets abscesses from his wounds (this has happened twice).
The first time I was in eighth grade and I saw something white in his fur and so I got the tick spoon thinking it was an engorged tick. Only for it to start oozing. I screamed and ran to my mom who was in the garage and we had to clean up all the pus. He stayed in the dog crate overnight until we took him to the vet and they drained it.
The next time was this summer and I was lying in bed with him and saw a large lump on his hip so I told my mom and scheduled a vet appointment. The next day we took him in and they sedated him, lanced the abscess, and put tubes in and a cone on his head. He spent the week in a dog crate in my room.
That week was utter hell.
He would cry in the middle of the night and bang on the crate bars and pull at his cone. I didn’t get a wink of sleep. He eventually pulled out the tubes while I was walking my dog and he got the cone off.
Then he decided to be an asshole and pee on my favorite shirt.
Jerk.

Submitted by @hyenasnake

Not sure why you chose to submit this after reading the FAQ, since this isn’t where to send questions and this doesn’t look like a question anyway, but allow me to offer you some feedback.

Your cat is not a ‘Jerk’ for peeing on your favourite shirt. He probably doesn’t understand ‘favourite’ and in any case cats don’t pee on things out of vindictiveness or revenge. They urinate in unusual places, like sinks, bath mats, beds and clothing on the floor when they are stressed or have a urinary tract issue. He is not a jerk, he’s just a cat, and you’ve misunderstood him.

It would be ideal for your cat to not be getting into fights on a regular basis, whether you secure the yard, build an enclosed catio, or consider harness training. The ‘freedom’ you have decided he ‘deserves’ has been the freedom to get into fights, putting himself and the other combatants at risk. While this certainly drums up veterinary business, it’s not ideal for the cat. He will probably not come home one day, even if he is ‘tough’ and ‘smart’ he only has to be slow or foolish once.

He should also, if he has not already, get a Feline Aids test. And if he’s positive, he should not be permitted to free roam and infect other cats, which he will do.

This situation does not look like one of a cat being an asshole to me.

That was a week of your cat being in pain and trapped in a small box with no comfort or entertainment of COURSE he was upset! You have a very stressed cat. 

Get your cat neutered. Stop letting him outside to get in fights. Something is going to kill him, no matter how tough or smart he is. If he manages to survive, he is going to be in pain many times in his life, and he is going to spend a significant amount of time in serious distress, which you may not even know about because of how good cats are at hiding their pain. 

He may be tough, but there are wild animals that are tougher, and there are animals that move in packs. All it will take to take him away from you for good is a particularly fast raccoon, a large dog that catches him off guard, several dogs that corner him, a coyote, a large owl or othe bird of prey, a car that comes out of nowhere, a human who hates cats, a human with a rifle who mistakes him for a pest animal, a lingering infection from an abscess you don’t notice, bleeding to death from eating poisoned rats, and the list goes on and on.

In addition, he’s killing small animals, slowly, violently, needlessly, because that is what cats do when allowed to go outside.

Since you haven’t neutered him, he’s probably responsible for a lot of litters of feral kittens that are going to live short, violent lives, and may not even make it to adulthood. 

You need to take better care of your cat. There are many ways to keep a cat happy indoors, where he won’t come back with massive abscesses or potentially never come back at all. Start acclimating him to spending more time indoors, and start setting up your house to work properly for an indoor cat, before you lose him. 

onboardthestar-shiptitanic:

snakegay:

terrible-tentacle-theatre:

supaslim:

bogleech:

heedra:

with some bugs it really does feel less like the larval stage is the ‘baby’ stage and more like its the ‘normal’ stage and the bug’s final form is just their extra special final form they use to fuck

I was actually distraught as a child when I found out that an antlion was “just” a “larva” to something else but later I learned that they spend two to three entire years that way and the adult only lives for a couple of months.

Butterflies are also shorter lived than caterpillars; we can think of them more as the caterpillar dispersal system.

We also always hear about how “mayflies only live a few days” but that ignores the fact that they, too, spend years as aquatic nymphs.

same for dobsonflies, which live for maybe a week as adults, but for years as enormous highly predatory aquatic larvae called hellgrammites.

except with dobsonflies, all forms feel a bit extra. If they were pokemon they would be some late generation multi-form legendary

Pretty, graceful adult dragonflies live only for like seven months, but beforehand they spend five years as this

aquatic predatory incarnation of bullshit, which hunts other aquatic insects and even small fish with its big fucking xenomorph mouthparts.

not to make a long thread longer but i think the ultimate manifestation of powered up final fuck form is 17 year periodical cicadas

like they  arent just hibernating or something, they spend the length of a human adolescence as these nymphs living underground and feeding on fluids from roots. and after 17 years their population group emerges in eerie synchronization and they all molt into their adult stage, which only survives for a few weeks . like 99.5% of their life is spent in their “baby” stage and the final .05% of it is a powered up flight capable adult form that exists solely to scream and fuck

@bisopod

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

Literally drove around for 20 minutes looking for a parking space. The line for early voting wraps around three blocks and is more diverse than I’ve ever seen in this town.

There’s a very tiny woman in line who wears size 2 shoes in children’s. The very tall man ahead of her overheard her say this and now they’re standing together taking photos of his size 21 feet next to hers and bonding over being unusually sized adults.