glumshoe:

glumshoe:

Children love tormenting me. I am a very tormentable adult.

I just spent the last half hour talking to four children who kept asking if I was 79 years old, if I had ever been attacked by pirates, if I had ever gotten married to a pirate, if I’d ever been eaten by a dinosaur, if I knew that I was a big ugly green alien, and if they could turn me into “a whoopie deflated cushion”. And then they competed to see who could scream it the loudest.

clarification: I’m not complaining, this is affectionate tormenting from children who enjoy my presence, not children trying to make me unhappy