trickerydickerydock:

Dumb Sequel Ideas for Venom, Sony Feel Free to Use

-Venom pulling a Batman and becoming a pseudo-urban legend around the shitty sides of San Fran. Just this big hulking mystery monster that pops up out of nowhere to beat the shit out of bad guys and maybe hork down some villains’ brains. Word on the street is that you can garner his favor through king size chocolate bars and French fries. 

-A potential montage:

Police: “Now you’re sure you haven’t seen this 9 ft tall leech man around here?”

Citizens 1-10, all of whom were rescued by Venom/watched Venom fold a cop car in half/punt a CEO across the Bay: “Nope”

Police: “You’re sure?”

Ms. Chen: “I think I’d know if I saw him.” (speaking over cop’s shoulder) “You ready to check out, Eddie?”

Eddie, loaded down with frozen hash browns and Hershey kisses: “Yup”

-Anne and Dan inevitably finding out. Eddie doing the shittiest job possible trying to lie. 

Eddie, about the multiple selfies and videos of Venom with the public: “What, that? Isn’t that Spider-Man?? Maybe he went goth, you don’t know.”

Anne: 

Anne: “Venom, come out.”

Venom, on Eddie’s shoulder: “…Hi Annie”

-When the Carnage vs Venom fight comes and Venom inevitably gets torn off Eddie, Eddie gets a solo badass moment against Carnage when he tries to kill Venom. Preferably with a flamethrower.  Preferably with a cheesy-good one liner.

“Get away from him, you dick”

-Closing scene

Police, inundated with video proof: “This. This thing right here. Big toothy slime giant. Recently fought another redder toothy slime giant, in public, broad daylight. Disappeared again. Supposedly no witnesses. Sir, please. Please. Have you seen this cannibalistic pile of talking ink?”

Stan Lee: “…Isn’t that Spider-Man? I miss the old costume.”