racingbarakarts:

myblogisnotinteresting:

racingbarakarts:

I used to have geese so here’s a tip for everyone:

If a goose is attacking you, don’t run. No matter what, stand your ground. They can fly but when they’re mad, they don’t usually try to fly. Hold your hands in front of you, ready to grasp. When the goose gets close, grab it by the neck bit closest to the head and squeeze. Not tight enough to choke the goose, but tight enough so they can’t break free. You can hold them until they calm down or just do the next step right away. The next step is literally just to chuck them as far as possible and run for your life. It makes the goose know you’re in charge and you have a better chance of getting away. Trust me I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count

I can’t tell if this is a shitpost or actual advice. But I do know geese are the fucking worst.

Actual advice! Just yeet a goose

You can also put your other arm around the goose, pinning its wings to its sides (don’t have the wings loose or you’ll get pummeled), and pick it up like a terrible set of bagpipes. You can hang onto a goose pretty well like that, and if you carry them for a bit, they usually decide you’re in charge. 

Then you yeet them. Preferably into water because geese are heavy and you don’t want to hurt one just for doing what its instincts say.