tyrannosaurus-trainwreck:

thedrunkencenobite:

Commissioner Gordon: If I shine this light into the sky, a man dressed like Dracula shows up.

Internal Affairs Investigator: I’m not sure how that’s a good use of tax doll-

Commissioner Gordon: He brings us lots of inadmissible evidence.

Are you fucking kidding me?  You know how this would actually go?

Commissioner Gordon: *slaps roof* You know how much overtime I don’t have to pay on account of this bad boy?

Internal Affairs Investigator: Yeah, but still–

Commissioner Gordon: I just turn it on, and instead of paying a whole precinct time-and-a-half to never see their families, a guy dressed as a bat punches whoever we’re looking for a bunch of times and dumps them in the parking lot.

Internal Affairs Investigator:

That’s not–

Commissioner Gordon:

Sometimes I fire it up just to see who we get.  It’s like having a cat that brings you guys with twenty warrants out for their arrest instead of dead birds.

Internal Affairs Investigator:

Okay, but you can’t tell people that.  Like, we can’t say it out loud.

Commissioner Gordon:

So I shouldn’t have told the FBI they could borrow it if they ever feel like clearing their most-wanted list?