systlin:

madamebadger:

Here is my Star Wars thought of the day:

I am not a fan of the Empire or the First Order. They are a bunch of fascist space racists (or racist space fascists, however you prefer to order it), who willingly committed genocide several times over. I have always been on the side of scrappy rebels, especially scrappy rebels named ‘Leia’ or ‘Rey.’ (Or ‘Chewbacca.’)

However.

(There had to be a ‘however,’ didn’t there?)

There is one, small, tiny scrap of sympathy I have for the Empire/First Order, and that is this: they keep building a very efficient, smoothly-running empire, and then people keep jamming whackaloons with magical powers in the highest ranks of that empire willy-nilly.

Like? Motti, Tarkin, Hux, Phasma. Bad people, let me be clear. But they keep having their orderly little (or big) empire screwed up because someone at the top was unstable and had weird visions and could rearrange the entire battle strategy around those weird visions. To their detriment, becasue the scrappy rebels had better weird visions.

As a sympathizer with the scrappy rebels, I am glad of this. But I can’t help but imagine Phasma repeatedly banging her head against her desk, going, “not agaaaaaain.”

Some regular military tactician, manipulating ships in the miniature 3D hologram of a battlefield; “So, as you can see, it should be quite a simple affair. Our intelligence reports tell us that the enemy has only a single squadron in this system, and most of them hidden in the asteroid belt. If we array our forces like so…”

Tarkin, approvingly; “Yes, you are quite correct, Lieutenant.”

Darth Fuckin Vader, sweeping Dramatically into the room, probably using the Force to get his cloak to billow Just So for Maximum Drama; “You are most incorrect, Lieutenant. The Rebellion has set you a trap. I have Seen it in the Force. You would not know, as you do not know the ways of the Force.”

Tarkin, mentally screaming to himself that he does not get paid enough to deal with motherfucking goddamn fucking space wizards this is the fourteenth fucking goddamn fucking time he has done this just this goddamn fucking month the absolute wanker. *forces a smile* “Are you certain, Lord Vader? Our spies were quite certain…”

Vader, dismissively. “Your spies are of no consequence compared to the power of the Force, Admiral.” 

Tarkin, throwing up hands; “Then please enlighten me, Lord Vader, what the point of having me send spies in the first place was???!?”

Vader; “I find your discomfiture amusing, Admiral.”

Tarkin; “I hate you so much.” 

Vader; “I am aware, Admiral.”