raisel-the-riveter:

raisel-the-riveter:

addie has been sending me pictures of the newspaper in her part of florida and it has me questioning the reality of the entire region. are you sure you’ve moved to a real place, I have texted her several times now. she is not sure.

[images: 1) a headline reading, “Colombia’s former anti-corruption chief pleads guilty to bribery scheme at Dolphin Mall”
2) an advertisement with the heading “IGUANAS TAKING OVER?” It features several pictures of iguanas and a list of places on one’s property that this company can get iguanas out of, which includes something called a SEA WALL. people out there need help to fight the IGUANAS in the SEA WALL like this is fucking pacific rim]

me: does the lake near your school have alligators in it
addie:
they shoo the alligatos away if they show up
me: …….. they what
addie:
oh, animal control will come and catch giant reptiles/release elsewhere
me: OH
me:
when you said “they” shoo the alligators I was absolutely picturing school maintenance personnel chasing them with brooms

at this point I’m just like, SURE, heroic janitors steve irwin-ing their way across campus, that probably happens??? I legit have lost my sense of what the scale of realistic occurrences is when it comes to the alleged south florida area