glumshoe:

I just released five goldfish into the large rain trough at my parents’ house. They use them as mosquito control. We suspect a raccoon got to the first goldfish that we’d had before.

Four of the goldfish retreated nervously towards the bottom of the trough, but the fifth went to work gobbling up mosquito larvae with abandon. “YEAAAH BAYBEEE! THIS IS THE LIFE FOR ME!” he thought, probably.

Say what you will about goldfish being dirty and boring. They certainly have personality.

You can put a few cinderblocks in there for them to hide in. Get fancy and make a little palace/house stack. Gives them a better chance at escaping raccoons.

They’re not stupid, I can tell you that much. You can target-train them easily if they get a food reward, and from there you can teach them to do things like push a tiny soccer ball into a goal or go through a hoop on command. They’ll remember what to do for at least two months afterwards, also, they don’t have a 5-second memory in the slightest.