I love how Steven Universe continuously chooses to break gender stereotypes again and again

gomtaengie:

We all know the gems are genderless. Most of them identify using she/her pronouns. And all the gems portray masculine and feminine characteristics to varying degrees.

Here we see Amethyst and Pearl, who we can say (in terms of outward appearance) are portrayed more femininely, wearing traditionally masculine suits. Looking fly as hell! (I’m so happy Pearl in a bowtie made a comeback)

Here is Peridot, a character many people assume to be more masculine than feminine, wearing a traditionally feminine dress! (And looking dAMN CUTE MIND YOU)

Here is our beautiful bride Sapphire, who many people consider to be the more feminine half of Garnet, rocking a tux and looking GORGEOUS AS HECK!

AND HERE IS OUR CUTER-THAN-EVERYTHING-IN-THE-ENTIRE-WORLD RUBY, WHOM EVERYONE THINKS IS MANLY AND MACHO AND SOME COUNTRIES EVEN GO AS FAR AS CHANGING HER TO HIM (SHAME ON THEM) LOOKING SO FUCKING ADORABLE AND HAPPY IN HER WEDDING DRESS!!!!

TL;DR IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR GENDER IS OR HOW YOU IDENTIFY, YOU CAN WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT AND STILL LOOK FUCKING AMAZING AT A LESBIAN WEDDING!

This is the species profile for an original species of mine. It’s potentially a bit disconnected, but hopefully interesting. 

Mlecki
are Rigg’s people, affectionately known as “gremlins” by some. 

They’re
small beings, about the size of a spider monkey, and usually perch on shoulders
or arms when interacting with larger beings. 

They
come in a variety of reddish colors, usually dark, faded shades, and their
batlike wings are generally stone-grey and speckled. Their tails are prehensile
and strong, tapered at the tips, and they can hang by their tails and one
grasping foot. Babies can hang by just their tails, but adults lack the muscle
strength to support their entire body with their tail alone.

They
have short, blunt snouts, like monkeys, with large eyes set above. Their front
teeth are sharp, and they have a set of canine teeth with a set of smaller
canines just behind, with molars set further back. The overall effect is of a
curious and intelligent being, albeit one who may be mistaken for a child because of their size, until the teeth come out. A Mlecki with teeth bared is much less cute, they can pull their lips back very far in an angry display.

Their
skin is a slightly odd texture, as there’s tiny bone scutes embedded underneath
and the skin itself is laced with silicone. They feel like orange peels to the
touch, and their skin is stretchy and very strong. Both sexes have
kangaroo-style pouches on their stomachs, mildly stretchy, which are used to
hold anything from babies to snacks to random swiped objects. Most have patches
of larger scutes in various places, along their backs for the most part, in
different patterns depending on genetics. The origin of a Mlecki’s
ancestors can often be figured out by their scute pattern, assuming their past
isn’t too muddled for the patterns to be clear. Mlecki races exist, but are
differentiated almost entirely by scute patterns, and easily a third of the
population is too mixed-race to be differentiated. Not that they cared in the
first place.

They
have two, rarely three, pairs of tiny horns. Horn number is genetic, and the
genes for the three pairs is highly recessive. An especially rare mutation can
result in one pair of larger horns. Mlecki young are born with smooth nubs
already visible through the skin. The outer, larger pair of horns, just inside
and behind the ears, starts to grow and sharpen just about at puberty. The
inner pair or pairs, much smaller, start to grow at full maturity. The horns
are used as indicators of physical maturity and loose indicators of mental
maturity in most Mlecki societies. They grow to roughly the length of the ears,
an inch or so depending on body size, and usually curve up and inward. 

Occasionally
the horns of especially old Mlecki begin to curl back towards the skull, in
which case they’ll be tipped with metal, which will be chained to the rest of
the horn to guide its growth away from the scalp. This is not a painful
process, the horns have no nerves in their actual structure. The skin around
the bases of the horns is typically sensitive.

Aside
from this equivalent to braces, Mlecki jewelry is largely simple, to avoid
snagging as they climb through trees. Bracelets, tail rings, and anklets are
common, all snug to the body, and horn rings are very common. Piercings through
the wing membrane, right up next to the limb, are unusual but present. All are
tightly fastened to prevent snagging on either branches or claws. Body paint is
used occasionally, often simple charcoal. A herbal mixture is used to produce
what is essentially henna for longer-lasting decorations, frequently on the
insides of the wings. Babies often have names or locations of parents written
on some part of them in said mixture in case they scuttle away or, unnoticed,
transfer themselves from a parent’s back to a branch.

Their
ears are shaped like those of a sheep or goat, with strong, flexible bases that
allow the ears to swivel in practically any direction, and are used in body
language and communication. A Mlecki with clamped ears is an extremely upset
Mlecki. A rare defect exists that causes the ears to droop, and Mlecki with
this condition usually wear small braces to support the ears upright so as not
to be seen as constantly upset.

Their
hands are delicate and nimble, with thick, strong fingernails, and their feet
are almost hands as well. Again, think monkeys. The wings are rounded at the
edges, especially the tips, and the section of wing between the two outermost
fingers is thick and especially leathery. When they land and hunch down, they
can use these sections of their wings as basic camouflage, with the visible
sections of red skin resembling veins of metal through the rocks of their
homeworld. 

The
Mlecki homeworld is a strange place where flora and geological structures
intertwine almost to the point of being indistinguishable. The trees sap metals
from the ground and build them into their structures, the plants are laced with
crystalline shards, and metal ores are rich even on the surface of the world.
Organic matter is present in large, deep pockets and scattered across the
surface, and areas are covered with forests of ancient trees, but the plant
life has adapted to feed off of metals and oils in lieu of organic materials.
Some strange fungi-esque life-forms suck up chemicals from underground veins
and feed off the energy generated from the chemical reactions. These fungi are
essentially made of living silicone, and are an important part of the Mlecki’s
diet.

Mlecki
have skin laced with silicone to guard them against cuts and scrapes from the
mineral portions of their world, and they eat these fungi to keep the silicone
present. The fungi are difficult to intentionally cultivate because they need
long roots that reach deep into the crust of the planet, so Mlecki cities are often
intentionally built either near the fungus groves or along easy transportation
routes. Offworld, they eat silicone wherever they can get it. Sometimes this
involves drinking silicone-based lube. Mlecki are also much more resistant to
poisoning from inorganic materials, and their bodies contain an organ similar
to a kidney that filters out excess heavy metals from their system and reroutes
it into their lower intestines. Some of this metal is retained and used to
reinforce their bones and horns, making them heavier than most people expect,
though not by too much.

Mlecki can fly. Not too well, a Mlecki’s flight path always
trends downwards, but they can fly well enough for it to not be considered
gliding. They tend to walk on three or four limbs at all times. Bipedal walking
is possible but difficult, as their posture is hunched forward and their hips aren’t
made to support bipedal walking for long. When needed, they can walk on both
hindlegs and on their wings, holding items in both hands, and the small claws
on the wings are often used to cling when climbing. Fear of heights is
extremely rare, as the trees mean safety from their homeworld’s large
predators. Even in areas where those predators are no longer present, Mlecki do
not build on the ground, and will choose to sleep in an elevated place even on
ships.

The structures in Mlecki cities are as woven into the
natural world as the geology and the plants are woven together. Trees and
plants are guided with wires and braces to grow into shapes and around forms,
and many smaller Mlecki cities are made almost entirely of shaped trees and
vines with minimal added materials. They may also build into cliffs or develop
structures on top of rises, and several cities have been built in the emptied
hulls of crashed ships.

Their tech is varied and development has been highly
piecemeal, many of their world’s major technological discoveries based off of
ship fragments that hit the planet after the ship breaks up in the world’s asteroid
field. They’re a relatively young species and relatively new to complex tech,
but their understanding of the energy lines among the forests of their
homeworld, of the lines and roots of the fungi, of how the metals interact in
the cliffs and mountains, is innate and lends itself well to technological
understandings. It is extremely rare for Mlecki to not have a knack for some
aspect of technology. In particular, they’re fantastic mechanics, thanks to
their durability, resistance to poisoning, mechanical understanding, and tiny, dexterous
hands. They put this to use in their building, tracing paths of fungal or tree
roots to figure out how to keep them intact, or how to cut off energy flow into
the trees to kill off a tree and make more space.

Innately curious beings, Mlecki were first discovered by
other species when they came out of the trees to investigate search parties,
and immediately hitched rides to get onto the ships. This hasn’t changed much.
They often venture offworld out of curiosity, and any ships that land on the
Mlecki homeworld will invariably end up with several onboard, at least
temporarily. Family groups may journey offworld together to set up shop
elsewhere, usually in the company of a mechanic or similar. They often set up
deals where a mechanic will provide them with housing, basic food, and
materials, and will pay them a small salary in addition.

To outsiders, Mlecki sexual dimorphism is relatively obvious
on its extremes, then baffling in the centers. Females are larger and tend to
be darker in coloration, with shorter, thicker horns. Males are smaller, more
slender, with longer horns, and are more likely to have three pairs of horns
and more intricate patterns of scutes. That’s on the edges of the scale,
though. Many Mlecki are somewhere near the center of the scale, making it
difficult for those without a good sense of smell to differentiate between the
sexes. There are four gendered pronouns in the Mlecki language, in addition to
multiple genderless ones; a word for distinct males, midway males, midway
females, and distinctive females.

Gender roles (and, indeed, genders) are practically nonexistent,
but sex roles are still present. Distinct males are thought to be better at
complex, intricate planning, at abstract thought, at work that’s intricate even
by Mlecki standards. Distinct females are thought to be better with physical planning,
working out exactly how something will move, at work that requires physical
effort. Distinct males are more likely to be gatherers, distinct females are
more likely to be hunters. This is, truthfully, largely accurate. Midway males
and females can go either way, but those with hormone levels putting them on
one distinct end or the other do tend
to be better at certain things. Exceptions may be regarded with mild puzzlement
at first jobs, i.e. a distinct male in a hunting party may not be expected to have
much success, but those who prove themselves capable will quickly shake off any
skepticism. There’s also no underlying idea that one sex or the other is
better, just that some of them are better at
certain things.

Mlecki often don’t have distinct genders. Those offworld are
more likely to take on specific genders, but they tend to go by gender-neutral
terms in casual conversation. If it’s relevant, they may be indicated to be one
sex or another in conversation. Transgender Mlecki exist, but are relatively
rare due to the lack of strong gender roles. Some may take hormones to change
their musculature and build if they’re especially dysphoric, and it’s
definitely not uncommon to see Mlecki, especially offworld, who’ve rubbed a
pigment into their skin to make themselves lighter or darker and experiment
with a slightly different perception by others. This is never really questioned
aside from occasional polite-slash-curious inquiry.

Mlecki children are referred to in gender-neutral terms,
since their sex isn’t possible to determine until puberty. Base sex is easy
enough, but whether it’s midway or distinct can’t be checked, and isn’t at all
important until puberty.

When Mlecki are born, they’re small and roughly helpless.
Their ears are up and open, but their eyes are shut for several days, and their
wings are small and tucked to their back tightly. They’re kept in a pouch,
usually the mother’s but switching back and forth, for at least a week, until
they become strong enough to cling tight. When they can hold on properly, they’ll
cling to a parent’s wing base or shoulder rather than staying in the pouch the
entire time. Parents frequently wear soft harnesses to give their babies a
place to hang on. From there, they develop roughly as most humanoid beings do,
with the added fun of trying to learn to fly just before puberty hits. Small
children just learning to brace their wings properly will often be gently
tossed back and forth over a soft surface, teaching them to glide, and will go
from there. Homes of Mlecki with children in the learning-to-fly stage
generally have horn marks in many surfaces from largely unsuccessful flights.

As babies, Mlecki are largely fed tidbits of fungus and
fruit, with the occasional insect or piece of meat. When they start grabbing at
their parents’ food, they get more protein, usually in forms that won’t rapidly
spoil if stuffed into a pouch rather than eaten.

Adult Mlecki are omnivorous, and opportunistic. Fruit, large
seeds, nuts, insects, fungus, leaf buds, flowers, and any meat they can get
ahold of are all fair game. They gather largely from trees and cliffs,
venturing only briefly down to ground level, and often hunt a rather
squirrel-like animal slightly larger than them that lives in hollow tree
trunks. Hunting parties venture down to ground level now and then to hunt
larger prey, snaring it in rope traps and killing it with spears, and the homes
of successful hunting families are generally built partially of bones. They
never stay on the ground for long, however- even now, predators abound, and
killing them off causes more problems than they can deal with. To avoid the
predators, Mlecki simply have to stay in trees, easy enough for them. To avoid
prey overpopulation and its reverberating effects is much more difficult. Better
to simply stay out of reach, and bring flashbombs to frighten away predators if
they venture down. The meat is worth it. Mlecki homes often also have vines of various
edible fruits woven through the outer walls, alive and growing, and some
villages are almost entirely made of food species.

Likely due to this “eat anything in reach” diet, Mlecki are
compulsive thieves. It’s not intentional, they just grab everything small that
catches their attention and is in reach. Nuts, bolts, trinkets, pieces of
string, tiny tools, anything they can get a grasp on with one hand and easily
fit in their pouch. They can’t really stop it. It’s comparable to kleptomania,
except there’s no actual desire to steal, just a sort of brain subroutine
running “grab.exe” and nothing else. Subconscious grabbing. Mlecki houses have
baskets near the door, and guests will simply empty their pouches of anything
they’ve grabbed, putting the items in the baskets. In public places, small and
low-value items that are easily grabbed are generally considered the property
of the grabbee unless specifically asked for. Mlecki society treats this as a
normal thing, and has different rules for grabbing than for actual theft. The
words are different, for one- the closest translation of their word for the
impulsive grabbing is “maybe-permanently borrowing”.

This can pose an issue when interacting with other species
and other societies. Mlecki on other worlds often ride on larger beings, generally
inside pockets where they can fidget with something to occupy their hands and
prevent grabbing. They also tend to find the pocket calming, as it resembles
the pouch their parents would have been carried in. Still, there are clashes,
especially when a Mlecki grabs something small that turns out to be especially valuable.
They’re apologetic and will happily give any and all items back if requested,
but most people don’t request. If you know a Mlecki has taken something but don’t
ask for it back, however, that belongs to the Mlecki now. Mechanics quickly
learn to check with the resident Mlecki if they lose a small item like a drill
bit, and generally don’t bother with retrieving low-priority bolts.

Fortunately for the Mlecki, it’s not considered smart to
react violently to even what is seen by others as an actual theft. It’s
difficult to be certain that any large ship does not have at least one Mlecki on board, and they band together
immediately with any others of their species they encounter. Given that this is
a being with an innate sense of how electronics interact, of how to skew things
to their liking, and of how to cut off all sources of energy flow if needed, they
are not good beings to upset while aboard ships. By the time a snipped or
pulled wire is found far too deep into ship’s wiring for anything but a Mlecki
to easily reach, it may be too late. Sufficiently upset more than one Mlecki,
and you may find that the word travels, and every port you land at with
resident Mlecki (which is a very long list) will result in something going
wrong aboard the ship. Even aboard ships that the crew would swear have no way
for Mlecki to get on board, they find a way.

This reputation of theirs is limited somewhat, Mlecki are a
slightly lesser-known species, but spread quickly after their first major
introduction to the galaxy. Their first introduction was ships with curious
explorers, the second was opportunists hunting a new world for exotic pets and slaves.
In Mlecki, they found both. Their small stature and roughly childlike
appearance make them appealing to multiple less-than-savory audiences, unfortunately.
The first couple of ships that took Mlecki, however, severely underestimated
their capacity for chaos, and by the next port the ships belonged to Mlecki.

Mlecki are still working on their intergalactic reputation, not
helped by their innate grabbiness and their small, almost childlike appearance.
They’re clever beings, though, skilled mechanics, curious and intelligent.
Those who actually meet and interact with them tend to like them.

glumshoe:

forthegaytergood:

glumshoe:

Sometimes I wonder if animals ever conceive of monsters. What menaces my dog in her nightmares? Is it only real creatures that she’s familiar with, or does she ever dream about stranger beasts – bigger, meaner dogs with barks like fireworks? Things that come out of the bathtub drains? Humans that only look like her humans, but smell horribly, impossibly wrong?

my rabbits have never, as far as i know, and i got them young, met any actual predators, save for one kitten smaller than them, and nonthreatening dogs they liked, but they still have that instinctual fear for predators. lots of rabbit owners will say theirs do the same – if theres something new in their area and its dark, theyll start thumping and acting panicked, running at any movement or noise they perceive, because they think the new shadow is some looming, unknown predator. my one rabbit, when she was still a baby, would sometimes thump and dart from nothing at all, while the other was unfazed (or simply startled from the others panic). i wonder what she thought was there

I’m very curious about the extent of different animals’ imaginations. The human imagination is incredibly rich and overactive and probably oranges to crabapples in comparison to most non-human animals’, but I wouldn’t be surprised even rabbits’ brains supply them with some form of imagined danger beyond pure instinctual reactions.

Crows seem to be able to form mental images of tools they want to make. Certain other birds, when exposed first to a snake and then to snakelike things, will give the “snake” alarm call more easily than if they just see the snakelike thing, suggesting they have a mental image of what a snake is and are more alert for one if they’ve gotten the idea. 

tyrantisterror:

titleknown:

raposinhachan:

weasowl:

weasowl:

weasowl:

20thcenturyvole:

probablybadrpgideas:

If Cthulhu can be summoned by humans who are so far beneath it, why can’t humans be summoned by ants?
The answer is they should be.

Well if a bunch of ants formed a circle in my house I’d certainly notice, try to figure out where they’d all come from, and possibly wreak destruction there.

That’s why knowing and correctly pronouncing the true name is so important to the ritual. Imagine how impossible it would be to not go take a look if the circle of ants started chanting your name.

And they’re like, you can’t leave because we drew a line made of tiny crystals – now you have to do us a favor.

And you’re like, let’s just see where this goes “yup, you got me… what’s the favor?”

and usually the favor is like, “kill this one ant for us” or “give me a pile of sugar” and you’re like… okay? and you do, because why not, it isn’t hard for you and boy is this going to be a fucking story to tell, these fucking ants chanting your name and wanting a spoonful of sugar or whatever.

And SOMEtimes you get asked for things you can’t really do, one of them, she’s like, “I love this ant but she won’t pay any attention to me, make me important to her” and you’re like… um? how? So you just kill every ant in the colony except the two of them, ta-da! problem solved! and the first ant is like *horrified whisper* “what have I done”

for some reason my brain won’t let go of this one, so….

Meanwhile another colony of ants invades your house, and evidently that last ant has gotten some of them to join her in a circle and taught them the ritual because you’re coming out of the bathroom one day and you hear the ants singing your name. Sure enough it’s that ant, but she’s dark and fucked up now, and she’s like, “kill the queen. I will rule this colony” and you’re like, sure, I guess I kinda owe her, and you do it. And she manages to become queen, and they worship you. Which is cool, you’re not, you know, very important in the human world, but to these ants you’re practically all-powerful. You can’t be just, doing everything a bunch of ants tell you to, though, when would you watch netflx? So you tend to only show up for super important ants; you teach them some extra words and when hear them you go see what’s up. Usually. Also just to your name, if you’re bored. And, sometimes some of the ants are like, tell us more human names, and you’re kind of jealous of the idea of some other human diluting your private godhood, so you refuse.

Your roommate Greg is like, yo, that’s fucking awesome, I want ant worshipers! But whenever he approaches any, they run away, because it turns out that the illusion of control from the named summoning is what makes them feel safe around you. That’s great, because Greg is a dick who never does the dishes, and one day you decide to teach Greg a lesson.

So you show up at the colony, and you’re like, “yo, witch queen, did you think there would be no price for all these things? Your colony must do something for me, go to the Room of the Housemate, I will meet you there.” And you go sit on the couch and play Overwatch for a while. You’re like, right there, you can clearly see the ants all marching along the wall to Greg’s room, but to them you’re not even there, you’re so far away they can’t see you. It takes them, like, an ant week to make the journey. They have to figure out ways to get over and around things. Some of them drown, or get stepped on by the dog, or whatever. You win a game, you lose a game, you look over, and they’re trying to get through some cobwebs… looks like they’re mostly going to live, you keep playing, you look over, okay they’re all in there, and you stand up and walk over and by the time they’ve chanted your name once, you’re there. “right, hold on” and you look around and you see a twelve-pack of Greg’s precious fucking soda, that he keeps in his room and refuses to ever share, even though it’s a communal food household and you share your hot chocolate with him all the time. So you gather the ants unto you, and you poke a little hole in each of the sodas and you leave the room to the sound of the ants rejoicing. Greg will suspect of course, but he’ll never be able to prove the ants didn’t chew holes in the plastic and steal his stupid drinks. 

But later, while you’re at work, Greg destroys most of the colony in a rage, and you come home to find the witch queen gasping her last “the Dew of the Mountain, which you had us steal, was cursed – and so I lay my curse on you” and then she dies.

Well first of all, you don’t really believe in curses, but last month you didn’t believe ants could know your name, so that’s unsettling. And second of all, you feel kind of bad. You know, not SUPER bad, cause she’s like, an ant. But still. And most importantly, third of all, Greg must pay.

But Greg has done more than kill a bunch of the colony. As you wait for eggs and pupae to replenish the ant population, you discover he has found some ants that didn’t go on the Mountain Dew raid, and he’s spared them, told them his name, and made himself a good sized cult in YOUR fucking ant queendom.

Greg has started locking his door. So now you NEED the ants. Once again you direct the ants loyal to you to journey to Greg’s room. You meet them at the door. A locked door means nothing to the ants, they don’t even know there is a door, and can barely perceive the difference between it being open and shut – either passing the threshold on the floor regardless, or being on its surface no matter the position. But you need them to get inside. You’re going to put itching powder in his underwear drawer and leave a raw fish under his bed. So you instruct the leading party of ants how to go into the Cave of Keyhole, and position the Magic Megaliths inside just right to enable the opening of the Great Door and allow you to pass into the Realm of Housemate.

Crouched by the door, you can hear when your ants are met by a party of Greg Cultists, who insist that if the Great Door is opened, the colony will be doomed. There is fighting. Your ants prevail, the lock tumblers are moved into place, and you swing the door open…

To find Greg! In his room all along! It’s a trap! His cultists attack you! I mean, they can’t do much real harm, but it kind of hurts and it’s super annoying. You order your ants to attack him, and they do, but he storms over and pours bleach down the colony entrance.

Now you and Greg are at war, and you both understand the unspoken rules to your fight. You can’t do things directly to each other, why, that would be assault. But anything you can get your ants to do is fine, because “she told the ants to do it to me” isn’t going to get very far with any authority figures that get involved. 

Later, nursing your anger, you confer with your few remaining ants and stare moodily at your new prize, the ant farm that came in the mail. Bullet ants don’t usually get along with sugar ants, but you’re betting they will if a god tells them to. Meanwhile, you’ve got a laptop schematic to go over with your high priestess. It’s finals week, and if you time it right, he’ll lose everything…

Feel free to add your own stories paralleling human/otherworldly with insect/human interactions!

I’m going to have this repost a few times because I want to see which of my mutuals are into this kind of thing because I’m preparing to test drive a fiction share and writing prompt project

The Idea of the old gods obeying us not because of supernatural reason, but because they think it’s funny to watch the tiny animals fight IS the answer to everything

@zuzu-and-friends, @bogleech, @tyrantisterror

“Human baffled at a bunch of ants inexplicably calling it by name” is a better characterization for an eldritch abomination than 99% of eldritch abominations in fiction.

glumshoe:

Sometimes I wonder if animals ever conceive of monsters. What menaces my dog in her nightmares? Is it only real creatures that she’s familiar with, or does she ever dream about stranger beasts – bigger, meaner dogs with barks like fireworks? Things that come out of the bathtub drains? Humans that only look like her humans, but smell horribly, impossibly wrong?

l3monsoda:

writing-prompt-s:

Compared to the rest of the galaxy humanity is by far the friendliest. To many star systems they are considered “the good neighbor,” and are known for their helpfulness. One day an oblivious system declares war on humanity, only to find half of the galaxy responding to humanity’s plea for aid.

The thing about humanity was, they were better from a distance. It was well known throughout the galaxy that humans were a warring violent and largely self destructive race. Anyone with any kind of sense at all stayed far away from their home solar system if you wanted safe travels.

 So it might come as something of a surprise for those who encountered the odd human scrapping vessel out on the outskirts of civilized space after getting turned around, that the gruff looking humans aboard not only had no qualms about giving directions but also insisted you travel together for a good part of the trip because “We were thinking on heading up that way soon anyway and that asteroid field can be a bit tricky if you haven’t been through it before.” They also were likely to force some extra supplies on the hapless traveler in an effort to ensure they were eating enough.

When a colony was ravaged by natural disasters, it was human builders who showed up with the tools supplies and know how to rebuild again. When a traveler got waylaid or trapped at an intergalactic space station chances were pretty good it was a human who stepped in to help get them were they were going. Forget your wallet while at the market? A passing by human might just pick up your bill wanting nothing in return just throwing a friendly smile into the bargain for good measure. Having trouble with the star engine, hollow projector or neuron ejector? You can sure as heck bet some random human was going to appear with ten different theories of what’s wrong and offering to come back with some of his tools and four of his buddies to help you figure it out.  

Disaster was once narrowly avoided when a fresh colony vessel had encountered a critical malfunction causing both ship’s engines to blow beyond repair. Their home planet had just delivered the devastating news that the nearest rescue ship would not reach them until days after they ran out of auxiliary power and died. Just as everyone was gearing up to mourn one of the greatest tragedies in recent history, suddenly scores of ships of all types and sizes began showing up from every possible direction and every last one of them human. There was a moment of panic until a human sent word that they were here to help and there were more on the way. They explained they didn’t have anything big enough for a whole colony but if they were willing to split up for a little while they were pretty sure they could get everyone off and to the nearest planet. It shocked those involved to learn that this was an entirely civilian effort. No official government of any kind was involved. “We heard you guys were in trouble so we came running.”

Not to say that humans were good kind and helpful by virtue, indeed some were haughty nasty and cruel. They were very much a warlike race and tales of the horror destruction humans had brought down on their own kind were known all throughout the galaxy. It seemed every day there was a fresh tale of their greed driven senseless violence. Sometimes you’d find yourself being helped by somber faced human who seemed to look through you rather than at you but it’s hard not to be moved as they give you the shirt off their backs without any word or fanfare. Some people would question these humans on their kindness and many would reply with answers along the lines of, “When you know what it’s like to hurt, you do what you can to ease it in others.”

Perhaps it was because humans had no substantial power base outside their own system but humans never extended their fighting and violence outside their boarders. Indeed it’s hard to extend your reach when things are always chaotic on the home front. So most other species experiences with humans was not that of war and death and killing but of that friendly traveler who shared her lunch, or the man who gave his spare compositor to that single mother with twelve hatchlings and no heat. Or the people who turned up in droves when the lightening storm took out the entire hemisphere on that out of the way colony everyone else wanted to forget about. Now other species were always plenty willing to help if asked but the thing about humans was you didn’t have to ask. They just saw that help was needed and they were there ready to do what they could.

Humanity was a small and out of the way species so it was quite some time before word of them reached the galaxies Peace Keepers. The Peace Keepers were an ancient and powerful race that tasked themselves with over seeing the affairs of the galaxy eons ago. When they learned of humans they did the cursory investigation into the potential new citizens of the galactic community that was standard.They not like what they saw. Humans were judged too violent, selfish and dangerous to be allowed to live. So the Peace Keepers moved swiftly to eliminate the rising threat.

When news of the advance hit, humanity scrambled to the fight. All the weaponry and forces previously pointed at one another were banned together against a common foe. There were many a rallying speech about the human spirit and hope and fighting tooth and nail until last, but anyone paying attention could tell you that things were looking pretty grim. The Peace Keepers were the most powerful battalion in the galaxy and mankind had only just successfully mastered the nuclear bomb a few short centuries ago. Humans might at well be throwing spears at them. They took too long to get themselves organized. No one had realized just how fast Peace Keeper ships could travel and by time the people in charge had gathered a clear enough picture to realize that the forces and weaponry at their disposal would not be enough the Peace Keepers were a mere two days away. 

Emissaries were sent out immediately to humanities closest neighbors in every direction but it would be weeks before any of them could get back with reinforcements. If any came at all. The Human Empire was small and fledgling and comparatively poor in resources to it’s more established neighbors. There was very little to be gained by allying with the now marked for death humans. None of that mattered much anyway since it seemed highly unlikely that their forces could hold out for a few days let a lone weeks. 

Never let it be said that humans are quitters though, impossible odds are just the kind of thing they live for. So rather than turn tail and run away the humans hunkered down and made ready for the fight of the ages. People were evacuated to nearby colonies, troops were shuttled off the the front lines, weapons were distributed, shields were brought up and kept running, every possible avenue of preparation was carefully traversed in hopes that it would mean the difference between life and death.The whole of humanity held it’s collective breath as the time came when the Peace Keepers approached Human Space. To everyone’s horror and dismay their foe appeared to be even more formidable than scout accounts had lead them to believe.

In that instant all hope seemed to be lost. There was little chance in ever hoping to bring down such a giant bent on their destruction. Still mankind will never go down with out a fight so the armies of humans stood their ground just waiting for the order to engage. In the control room there was a silence of aghast horror as no one dared move to give the order that would surely be the death warrants of every single person on the battle field. But what other choice did they have? They knew the Peace Keepers had come to destroy them them and they were ignoring any and all attempts by the humans to hail them even now. If man kind was to have any hope at all of surviving they must fight now,

Just as those in charge in the control room sucked in the air required to give the fateful order everyone was waiting for suddenly a small ship zipped in between to the two armies and  stopped smack dab in front of the Peace Keepers Fleet. Soon after another ship flew in flowed by another and another and suddenly there were hundreds of thousands of ships flying in and forming a barrier around the human army. 

No one had any idea what was going on, surely this wasn’t the aid they had sent away for, those ships were still weeks out and there was not a single battle cruiser to be found amongst this unexpected fleet. It was mostly scrappers and cargo vessels it was an odd army to behold but their numbers were many. Suddenly a plethora of messages came through on the hailing frequency being patched in from some of their ships on the front line from vagarious different captains of all species and creeds. It was the same message over and over in a thousand different words and dialects,

“We are here to help our neighbors.”

dairyisntscary:

friendly reminder that down cows can’t go to slaughter. it’s literally illegal because of mad cow disease. Down cows that don’t show improvement are euthanized and either buried/composted or incinerated. meat from a euthanized animal cannot be sold, regardless of method used, because a USDA inspector has to overlook all slaughter for meat that gets sold legally. The “cows are milked until they’re downers and then they go to slaughter” rhetoric just isn’t true.