This👏🏼 was👏🏼 a👏🏼 joke.👏🏼 KIKÉ HERNANDEZ SET UP THIS PICTURE AND POSTED IT ON HIS TWITTER HIMSELF to make fun of how short he is. Literally the opposite of fragile masculinity. Everyone stop ruining his good name he is the sweetest goofball in all of baseball he deserves better I love him.
Sharing for context. I pretty much figured there was a joke here or you wouldn’t see the bucket.
How to determine if a kids injury is serious or not
offer them “medicinal chocolate” if they stop crying it’s fine if they carry on crying/refuse the chocolate then it’s serious
From age two apparently^^
Oh wow I never heard this one.
German edition: offer the kid to blow away the pain. If it’s better afterwards it’s okay, if they refuse or still screaming it’s serious
Also a lot healthier than giving your kid chocolate everytime they cry tbh
It’s not everytime they cry it’s only if they get injured and you’re unsure if it’s serious because they are screaming but you can’t tell if they are overreacting or not
For things that are clearly a minor bump we give kisses instead
And before anyone thinks if a kid is screaming it’s not an over reaction
My kid fell off their bike and skinned their knee. Just skinned it that’s all and they went into full on scream/crying hysterical because it was bleeding and they hadn’t had an injury where they bled within their memory
It wasn’t so much the pain as the blood that made them hysterical.
In that case we could see it wasn’t serious but the chocolate helped them calm down and then I got them to tell me about Terraria until they were calm and their wound was dressed
It was absolutely an overreaction to a skinned knee but it was also an understandable one
Kids don’t have experience or pain tolerance we do and sometimes it’s hard to tell if it’s something that requires a trip to the hospital or not
Also, it’s not gonna hurt your kid to give them, like, 10 chocolate chips every time they get an injury of some sort.
I’m suddenly laughing at the idea of a cliche noir detective story written in the brutally concise style of Hemingway.
A woman walked into my office. She had legs. I noticed her legs. “I have a problem. I need your help,” she said. They always said that. I knew her legs weren’t the problem. I hoped she might want my help with them anyhow.
“Can you pay?” I asked. Of course she could. Her shoes were worth more than my rent. She could pay. “I can pay,” she said. Her eyes were wet. I wondered if anything else was wet. Probably not. I am not handsome. Not since the war. She was looking at my scar. Lots of people do. Most look away. Not her. She did not look away. She looked at my scar and I looked at her legs. There were two of them. I liked that about her. I liked that a whole lot. “Will there be danger?” I asked. There always is. This city bleeds danger, then drinks it right back up again.
“I’m afraid there might be danger,” she said. She had the voice of a beautiful woman. She also had the face and body of a beautiful woman. She was beautiful.
The light from the window was striped. It made stripes on my cigarette smoke. The end of my cigarette crumbled into ash. My marriage had also crumbled into ash.
“I can handle danger,” I said. I patted the butt of my gun. My gun was a Colt. My gun and my scar were all that was left from my time as a soldier. My gun, my scar, and the nightmares. I looked her up and down. “I am good at handling things.”
“It’s about my husband. He’s gone missing.”
She was not wearing a ring. It means something when a woman does not wear a wedding ring. Usually, it means that she is not married. “Seems your ring has also gone missing,” I said. I hoped her dress would join it.
Her red mouth curved upwards. She was smiling a little. “I don’t wear it outside. A diamond that large would only invite trouble.”
“In my experience, trouble doesn’t wait for an invitation.” I looked at her legs again. They were both still there. “When did you last see your husband?”
I make no bones about how difficult I find my dietary restrictions sometimes, but the realization that I’ll never again have my auntie’s treacle gingerbread loaf with a cuppa tea strong enough to strip lead paint, has just hit me, and I’m going through the seven stages of grief in rapid succession.
bad enough I had to give up haggis and treacle scones and tattie scones, noooo, fucking boady had tae take my childhood wi it too. Fucker.
Maybe I can find a way to recreate it gf… but then I cannae have the treacle cause it’s so highly sulfited… maybe if I only had a wee bit it wouldnae be so bad… like maybe once in a while on a blue moon, when the planets were aligned…
It occurs to me that I was initially kidding about going through the seven stages of grief, but apparently not.
In which stage of grief does the Scottish accent come out?
All of them.
I am proud of you for actually avoiding your trigger foods. I’ve only managed to cut out a few things and just accept my slow, painful death for most things.
Like, I’m not supposed to eat any starchy foods like potatoes, rice, or bread, but I’m too poor to not. I absolutely refuse to avoid garlic and onions– my husband is Cuban, it’s just impossible.
I do make time a few times a year to eat an entire loaf of fresh sourdough and then spend 3 days in bed. I don’t know man. Food is one of the things that make life worth it. I’d rather dose up my meds and live a little, y’know.
Oh don’t kid yourself, I used to do something similar until my body just got sick and tired of my shit and decided straight up murder was the only solution to get me to stop.
I love bread, and I miss all the foods I can’t have anymore, but I want to live 😂
Can you eat rice? I just stumbled across a recipe for rice bread that has like rice, water, a little salt, and yeast or barm, and sent it to my cousin, who can’t have bread, and she says it’s boring, but it feels like bread.
Can’t have rice or yeast, thanks for trying though ❤
Hmm…have you tried potato or nut flour? My grandma has a really good recipe for potato rolls, so if you want I could ask her for that, see if it has ingredients that wouldn’t work
Allergic/intolerant to both, sadly. Thanks though.
And just before anyone else chimes in, lets just assume I’m allergic lol
My diet is limited, and that’s okay. It’s better than it was a year ago when I was living on bone broth (chicken, cause I’m allergic to all red meat and red meat byproducts) oatmeal and water for several months. Trust me, I am living my best life, simply by being alive at this point.
Everybody with food intolerances/allergies needs to be really careful. If you keep exposing yourself to the foods you react to, your reaction can and will get worse. Not only that, you’re causing more and more damage to your body. My mom has celiac and now has permanent nerve damage and an assortment of other food intolerance because of the damage it caused before she went off of gluten. In addition, if you have an intolerance and stop eating a food, your body starts to calm down because the “infection” it mistakes the food for is gone. If you eat the food again, your body thinks the infection is coming back and totally freaks out trying to get rid of it.
Trust me on this. No food is worth lasting damage and a longer list of things you can’t eat. If it is at all possible, stop eating those things.
I assume because it’s small, shiny, and moves in interesting ways. Predator instincts tell them to chase. Lizards, fish, and some birds and dogs will try to chase them, especially anything that has any interest in bugs.
Please enjoy my cat trying to figure out a laser pointer.
[video: a gray-black tabby cat playing with a laser pointer dot and periodically looking confused and sniffing around when the dot vanishes]
i googled “protest stock photo” because i was curious to see how they would handle the subject matter while maintaining the inoffensive, generic marketability of most stock images and i don’t know what i expected but uh
BettSplendens Tumblr Evac 