Red delicious apples being named ‘delicious’ is one of the biggest deceptions of the human race.
Omg I hit the reblog button so fast
i feel this on a spiritual level.
They were, at one time, delicious, but some fuck-up, let’s call him George, came along.
George decided the red delicious apples weren’t “red” enough, so he started to breed them so they became more red; however, as he did that, the delicious flavor was also bred out, but everyone thought they were better because they had a more consistent color.
They used to be delicious but not red, and now they are red but not delicious.
🤔🤔 I had a feeling they used to taste a lot better than they do now. Stupid humans screwing with everything
Why is my name always used for bad shit 😦
But seriously, just eat Red Gala apples
or Pink Ladies
Ew. Eat honeycrisps. Love yourselves.
Fuck that Granny Smiths are where it’s at.
Granny Smiths are a crock of shit
YOU COME IN TO MY HOUSE AND YOU INSULT PIEMAKING APPLES. WITHOUT GRANNY SMITH YOU WOULD HAVE NOTHING HOW DARE
fuji apples tho
Granny Smiths are good for pies and nothing else.
I like the classic macintosh to eat, but if I can get winecrisp I am golden (delicious)
PINK LADY OWNS MY ASS
You haven’t had apples till you’ve had ambrosia apples
All of y’all can eat my ass. Granny Smiths are the best and have the perfect amount of tang. Macintosh aren’t as good a substitute.
BRAEBURN OR NOTHING
Royal Gala or go home
HONESTLY IF YOURE HATIN ON GRANNY SMITHS YOU CAN UNFOLLOW ME RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY
One time I ate a Pink Lady at peak apple season and I almost cried
like excuse me but fuji???? is the best???????? you all can go dunk your heads
Things are heating up in the apple fandom
Pink Lady yes
All the crazies are out in the Apple Fandom
(Honeycrisp FTW, though)
There are 7,500 varieties of apple and you should try as many as you can before making a verdict. Like Jaiden Animations did!
Pink Lady is THE SHIT and it’s not even sold in my country. I ate tons of them when I was in Nijmegen, Pink Lady apples were one of the best things about living in the Netherlands.
I am so sorry. I would ship you pink lady apples but I don’t think you can ship fruit across borders.
The fact that this post has so many reblogs without a single mention of Gold Rush apples is a travesty. Gold Rush apples are the product of taking all the best properties of every other apple and creating perfection.
Galas and Fujis are the best that I can get my hands on. (otoh, living in the tropics means I get lots of other fruit)
I’m an avid Pink Lady apple fan myself.
Golden delicious or Fuji or Royal Gala
Have none of you sad fucks EVER tasted an Ida Red?
Crispin apples are the bessssttttttt
I like pretty much all the apples that are Pink Lady colored. That nice, light pinkish color with the streaks of peach and yellow.
Who wants to read a fic of my big chill tank-mech Bracer fragging the daylights out of angry young Megatron?
Even though our first cat door had a noisy electromagnetic lock that ran off the mains via transformer (I tell you, dinosaurs still walked the earth back in the mid-80s) Kasha and Lilith mastered the concept not only of cat doors but collar-keyed locking cat doors with unsettling speed.
They also mastered what would happen to the tomcat three doors down (it was because of him we needed a locking cat door in the first place) when they got him to chase them…
It reached the stage where we could tell the process of the chasing by sound alone. From the distance: mrrrOOOAAWrrr. (beat) From the kitchen: Chik-clack.Chik-clack. (beat) CLUNK.
The tomcat never learned, and it reached the stage (seen at least four times by one, other or both of us) where they would zip inside then turn around and watch the impact happen. Finally he just gave up and ignored them, though his nose looked a bit…Persian…by then.
Cats do have a sense of humour. Just not a very nice one. And schadenfreude is one of their favourite concepts…
Pardon me, I’m just going to wail with laughter over here for a few minutes.
(sorry again for the hellish mess in your inbox earlier and. I hope you like this!)
Omg please don’t be sorry this whole thing is adorable and you are amazing for writing it. So cute and so awesome and GAH those two getting it on while everyone assumes it’s Mer!Soundwave cuddling Mer!Aid is FANTASTIC
So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.
She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.
This should make for an interesting story.
So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.
Arrival:
So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”
Retrieval:
So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.
Delivery:
So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.
What a great day.
This is literally the most beautiful and thrilling tale. Start to finish.
I am almost in tears I am laughing so hard. This is beautiful. I can’t believe you took all the toilet paper. I’m dying. Help. It sounds like the start of a joke: two martial artists, a wrestler, two linebackers and a Navy Seal walk into a Chipotle.
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