actualmermaid:

I will never not be delighted by the first English description of an opossum:

“An Opassom hath an head like a Swine, and a taile like a Rat, and is of the bignes of a Cat. Under her belly she hath a bagge, wherein she lodgeth, carrieth, and sucketh her young.”

I’ve seen worse descriptions. 

jairden:

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

I worked at a hardware store down the street from a convent and the sisters were of the Franciscan order and st francis is the patron saint of animals so anyway one day one of them came in and she was like “i need a mouse trap, we have a mouse in the convent!” and it’s the facts that mice in your kitchen are huge health hazards but I said “sister……….would st. francis approve” and IMMEDIATELY it was clear I’d hit a nerve she said “THAT’S WHAT THE OTHERS SAID, BUT I’M NOT HAVING A MOUSE IN THE KITCHEN” and it was SO freaking funny because I know the other sisters and that they were messing with her too but I was the Last Straw.

ppl tagging this “not sure if this is true” like. is that what the kids online are doin’ these days? lying about working in a hardware store or about bein’ friends with members of the catholic church? is that how we’re getting notes now??

honestly it was nun of our business.

If it happens again, some places make live mouse traps, and there are designs online to make them out of soda bottles and the like. The mouse walks into the trap, the trap shuts, and you have one very confused but unharmed mouse that can easily be relocated to not a kitchen.

realfootage:

im seeing people get like genuinely worried that the pornbot ARG is someone ~in danger~ and im assuming a lot of you all have no experience with ARGs so this seems very strange and unfamiliar, but just think about it logically like. if someones in danger, there is absolutely no circumstance in where someone is at risk and the only possible means of communication is by saying “hey peehead can you teleport” to people on tumblr and leading to a website youve coded to be pretty typical ARG fare with cryptic messages and also imagery about angels.

its a game, no one is in danger, just sit back and enjoy the ride