stem-and-leaves:

So I was talking with my brother yesterday, and I came up with what I think is a real useful analogy to show why motivating yourself with shame and negative self-talk is a bad idea:

Imagine you’re trying to make an epic leap between two buildings. If you try and don’t make it, and land on spikes at the bottom, sure you’re going to be motivated to not land on spikes again, but probably not by trying to jump farther. You’re gonna think “bugger this for a lark, I’m not jumping over that bleedin death pit again. What if I land on the spikes?”

HOWEVER, if you miss the jump and land on a big crash pad, you’re probably gonna be like “Ah shoot, whiffed it. Alright, let’s go again.” Like why do you think gymnastics gyms have giant foam pits and springy floors rather than unforgiving concrete slabs?

So, if you mess up and you start poking yourself full of spikes, you’re gonna want to avoid the failure even more – it’s too much of a risk. But if you give yourself a nice soft landing, you’ll almost certainly make it eventually, because you’ll be able to practice, to try again.

I dunno, I just thought this was a cool way to think about it.