I bring to you beyoncè’s lemonade and a home – made tiramisu as a sacrifice. Is it enough to tell us about the Cat – racoon Incident?

buckykingofmemes:

buckykingofmemes:

man, you guys are bored today, because in ten minutes ive had ten requests for this. so i will briefly tell the story of the cat-raccoon incident.

in most of the camps we stayed at, there were cats. dogs, too, but the cats were everywhere. food stores and garbage that a good-size camp needs means there’s a high chance of rats or mice, and one of the best ways to deal with that problem was a good mousing cat. so most every camp had a couple hanging around. the officers mostly turned a blind eye to them.

there was one camp we were at for a few months, and the mouser there was this huge fluffy grey lump they called Kilroy.  (it was not a very original name; i think i met six camp cats called kilroy) Kilroy was a remarkably lazy cat, when he wasnt hunting, but also pretty friendly. he was also an amazingly warm personal heater for whoever he decided to grace with his presence. that being the case, he was welcome in most barracks when the weather started to go cold. 

mice are active at night, though, so often he would linger in the kitchen until a couple hours after sundown, then head to the nearest barracks and scratch at the door until somebody let him in. 

one chilly night in february, there was a scratching at the door of our barracks at nearly two in the morning. we were all asleep and even when it got loud enough to wake us up, none of us wanted to move. but it persisted. so eventually falsworth got out of his bunk–he was closest to the door–let Kilroy in, and got back in bed. 

Kilroy ambled a few steps in, then started heading for gabe’s bunk. which was when gabe and falsworth realized that what had been let in wasnt a Kilroy.

it was a raccoon. 

i dont know if gabe had some sort of raccoon related trauma in his past or if he just hates them in general, but he screamed and bolted upright in his bed. which woke the rest of us up, quite startled, and, since we were in bunks, resulted in about half of us hitting our heads on the upper bunks. dumdum, who’d insisted on sleeping top bunk, lunged awake so hard it actually tipped the whole bunkbed over, and wound up spilling him and happy sam on the floor. 

all the chaos caused the raccoon to be terrified, and it started running around, looking for an exit. all of us were tangled in blankets, and most of us had no idea what was happening, and the only two who did were gabe and falsworth. gabe was screaming like he was being attacked by a six foot spider, and falsworth had started chasing the raccoon around. the rest of us were yelling, trying to figure out what was going on, and there was this angry bright-eyed thing running around, scratching and biting anyone who came near. soon enough, it cornered itself behind steves footlocker, but it kept biting at anyone who tried to grab it.

at that point we’d made enough noise to wake half the camp. peggy, who’d been staying nearby in the ops center, stormed over to see what was happening. she burst through the door like an avenging angel and found a squad of battle hardened commandoes with bedhead, wrapped in blankets, two bunks overturned, gabe still yelling, and half of us bleeding from raccoon bites. 

she marched in , stole steve’s blanket, tossed it over the raccoon, bundled it up, and carried the whole thing right back out of the barracks. 

when she came and found us at the medic’s after she’d let the raccoon loose in the woods, she was not impressed to discover that every single howlie had somehow gotten injured, either from the raccoon itself, by blundering into each other in the dark, or by falling out of bed.

Chapter 20: Peggy is a Boss, Dum-Dum is Not, and Kilroy is a Cat has been updated on Ao3!

(As some of you may know, raccoons are not native to Europe! (which is something I forgot when I made the reference in the last story, and had to do some quick research.) However, they are there now, as an invasive species. Part of the reason for that is that during WWII, a german fur farm was hit by a bomb, releasing raccoons into the wild. So this would have been one of the first raccoons loose in Europe. Neat!)