rapid-oxi-dation:

Fullmetal Alchemist AU where everything’s the same except Ed makes up stupid stories as to why he lost his arm and leg and they’re different every time someone asks. 

ex: “I got attacked by a shark” 
“I stubbed my toe and decided I didn’t want it anymore”
“I went through a steampunk phase”
“Sheep are vicious when they’re hungry”
“Squirrels”