writing-while-female:

randaness:

persephone-devotee:

probablefox:

thescienceofjohnlock:

love-in-mind-palace:

totallysilvergirl:

addignisherlock:

mareebrittenford:

writing-while-female:

spellbound7:

butterynutjob:

fluffle-talk:

rocket-pool:

Dying rn

@butterynutjob

He stopped in front of the mirror and sighed. His penis was just a little too large to be fashionable, and his balls were just a little lopsided. Most days it didn’t bother him, but today he pushed at his genitals, trying to make them look more normal, like the men in magazines. It was hopeless. He dropped his junk in resigned frustration. There were worse things than having too large of a penis, he thought.

While, granted, some writers do take the breast thing too far, this comparison doesn’t even make sense. Men don’t obsess about their genitals the way women obsess about their breasts because they’re not in your face all the time (in the case of large boobs). Breasts are just more visible (closer to eye level).

Newsflash! Women don’t obsess about our breasts. 

No really, we live with them 24/7, we can see friends, and relatives breasts pretty much on demand, hell, we just have to go to get changed at the gym to be inundated with boobs. They are really boring to us (ad while we’re on it, nowhere near as sensitive as so many men seem to think!).

The only time a woman might obsess about her breasts is when they’re painful, such as when lactating or wearing an ill-fitting bra, and neither situation is at all sexy.

Men obsess over women’s breasts. Women don’t. 

I’m just loling about supposedly obsessing over my breasts because they’re near my face.

“In your face all the time (in case of large boobs)”

So apparently large breasts are gravity-defying objects that rise up to our face until eye level, huh??

Any women out there willing to draw out how this guy’s version of boob reality might look like, because this is just too ridiculous 😂😂😂

I needed this belly-laugh, I really did, so many you did too.

I..am..idk

🤣😂🤣

And before anyone says anything about women who are into women: breasts can be attractive, but they’re still mundane and we are perfectly able to not ogle or feel abashed when in the presence of bare-breasted people.

dooooo your boobs float high

do they wobble toward the sky

can you not help but obsess

on your face-invading chest

can you cup them in your hands

and bounce them like a marching band

do your boobs. float. high.

I think I love you,  @randaness

bettsplendens:

Alright, so I’ve got this guy. His name’s Twitch. It’s not particularly clever, he has a tiny glitch somewhere in his coding (probably up next to the stuff about how to blink) that makes one of his optic lids twitch. Not important enough to put the effort into fixing it.

He used to work in medical waste disposal, cleaning up messes and removing biohazards and such. 

Accidentally overheard a budding Decepticon going on a very long and entirely logical anti-Functionalist speech to some medics, thought about it for awhile, went “yeah okay makes sense”, and offered to help distribute their information. People don’t tend to notice trash bots, he was good at getting around quietly, but was eventually captured by Functionalists who had a sense of irony.

Keep reading

More stuff. Includes descriptions of interface equipment mods. Weird ones. Also a description of how Twitch’s interface equipment and internal workings handles transfluid. 

His spike is unmodified, and is, uh, interestingly colored. Looks like an overlapping series of plates, with soft edges, and is bright, toxic green with yellow and black hints. Basically, his spike is patterned like a bio-hazard. Matches his natural frame colors. 

His valve is kind of a generic silver-blue, specifically made that way rather than being left hazard-colored. Intended to be tempting. 

About the front third of his valve clamps down tightly when sensors near the back of his valve detect charge levels suggesting a partner is about to overload. The entire length ripples in a way intended to coax a partner’s frame into filling him with as much transfluid as they can give by tricking the partner into thinking the valve’s owner is in heat. His overflow tank opens easily, and shuts as soon as the transfluid flow through it stops. 

Once his overflow tank is full, his modified gestation tank starts working, filtering out all the reproductive nanites inside. The reproductive nanites will be converted into repair nanites, which are stored in what are supposed to be transfluid storage tanks. The assorted non-nanite substances are processed by another part of his formerly-gestation-tank, digesting the transfluid and turning it into energy. It’s weird. 

Twitch knows a lot about that process because the mech who modded that part of him was very proud of having essentially reversed the process of how a gestation tank fuels and creates a sparkling. Lots of bragging, lots of descriptions of the process and the workings. 

His plating is kind of a dull, unremarkable grey, but edged in that bright warning-green. His protoform is striped yellow and black where you can get a glimpse of it. Basically, unremarkable “don’t mind me” colors with hints of “WARNING WARNING TOXIC” colors, pretty typical on medical waste disposal mechs. 

Twitch is aware that he’s more or less a trash can for medical waste, albeit with a side dose of nanite factory. That’s not a problem for him. It’s his job. Occasionally mutters “don’t mind me, I’m just one of the trash cans” and goes to sit in a corner or next to an actual trash can if he’s hoping to overhear gossip. It’s worked before, just quietly sitting and listening, people don’t tend to pay too much attention to the trash mechs. Slightly more attention to people with camera optics, though. 

h42el:

kat-the-dog-trainer:

timelords-moose:

kat-the-dog-trainer:

Reasons why your dog pulls on their leash:

✔ they are excited

✔ they are faster than you

✔ they have far stronger senses than you and the world is super stimulating

They are NOT being:

❌ stubborn

❌ malicious

❌ “dominating”

Things you can do to enforce leash etiquette:

✔ utilise treats and life rewards

✔ tire your dog out prior to their walk by playing tug, fetch, etc.

✔ utilise mini-commands (sit at road, “this way”, etc)

✔ freeze or U-turn when your dog pulls

Rather than:

❌ choke chains/prong collars

❌ yelling/shouting

❌ yanking the leash

❌ “dragging” the dog (collar grabs, pushing down their butt to sit, pinning them between your legs, etc.)

We all want good leash etiquette, but there is no good reason to actively punish your dog for being excited about an exciting environment. Your own impatience and frustration (with a dog who is still learning) is not an excuse.

Choke chains are fine when used appropriately. They are meant to simulate when an alpha nips at the neck to keep their packmates in line. A quick, short jerk of the chain on a dog trained to understand the meaning is perfectly fine and doesn’t hurt the animal at all.

When using a choke chain, it should not be ACTUALLY choking the animal. It should lay slack around the neck until a small tug is necessary to get the animal in line.

A pronged chain is ONLY appropriate on an animal that has extremely thick fur or skin that a choke chain is ineffective on due to being unable to penetrate the fur for the animal to receive the appropriate message.

For more information please talk to your vet or a PROFESSIONAL dog trainer who has the appropriate certification. The key to leash training is teaching the dog that it’s more fun to be next to you instead of pulling out front.

Not all training methods work for every animal, just as humans all learn differently. Not all dogs respond to treats, some respond better to toys or affection. If you are not experienced in training, look for a breed that is more beginner friendly. Some breeds tend to be more stubborn or independent thinking, such as huskies and corgis.

I’d like to address a few thing in this comment:

The first is the “alpha” comment. The alpha dominance system has been repeatedly, scientifically, quantifiably debunked. Dominance DOES exist in isolated resource protection scenarios but not as a rigid social hierarchy. The original captive-wolf study has been picked to pieces, the author of The Wolf (which popularised the theory) has been trying to get his own book off the shelves, and wolf/dog social systems are far better understood by modern behavioural science these days. So we can immediately dismiss this comment.

Choke chains are a positive punishment training method. We apply something the dog dislikes in response to an undesirable behaviour.

I will never say to you or my clients that choke chains don’t work; they do, when used correctly. Hell, I used one for years. They result in a dog who walks beside you because they fear the repercussions, not because they actively choose to. They also offer instant gratification for a frustrated owner.

But the physiological and behavioural risks are tremendous. Physiologically, we can deal with anything from minor sprains, to esophogeal and tracheal damage, to neurological issues. Because you are applying force and pressure to the neck, of all places.

But the behavioural implications are potentially worse. Aside from the fact that choke chain usage almost always results in reliance (i.e. the dog won’t walk nicely without it), let’s deal with the common scenario of a dog who walks on a choke chain, spots another dog, and pulls to say hello. The choke chain corrects the behaviour. The dog quickly learns that other dogs = pain/discomfort, which increases reactivity to other dogs.

There is a reason why punishment techniques have a strong relationship to increased anxiety in dogs.

Any responsible trainer will tell you that check chains were, at one point, understood to be the default training method for leash etiquette. But the overwhelming scientific evidence to the contrary means that we must move on.

Yes, dogs learn in different ways but I have never in my life met a dog that does not respond to positive reinforcement training. Nor a chicken, horse, lorikeet, cockatoo, macaw, cat, betta fish, possum – or any other animal I’ve ever trained. I’d personally much rather have a dog who works for me because they want to than because they’re afraid of the consequences.

Perhaps that’s better illustrated in the fact that in all your “different learning methods” examples you described positive reinforcement rewards.

I’d like to wrap up this rebuttal with one of your own quotes:

“The key to leash training is teaching the dog that it’s more fun to be next to you instead of pulling out front.”

Oh, and as for this point:

“For more information please talk to … a PROFESSIONAL dog trainer”

Mate, I am one.

You can train bugs with positive reinforcement and enough patience. Bugs