unavenged-robin:

No okay, but the more I think about it, the more I love the idea of Selina giving a ridiculous answer every time someone asks/implies that Damian is her son, especially if it happens in front of Damian.

Like:

“Oh my god, who’s this cutie?”

“I don’t know” *looks at Damian suspiciously* “Are you a thief? Did you come her to rob those poor, rich, completely clueless and annoying people of all their unnecessary, beautiful diamonds?”

(Damian is amused)

–

“Your son is so cute”

“He’s not my son, he’s my bodyguard and he’s dangerous, don’t come any closer to me, it’s for your own security.”

(Damian’s half offended and half pleased)

–

“Is this your son?”

“No, this is my cat. My son’s home, probably sleeping in his queen-size bed. No, wait, what is the difference between cats and children again? I forgot.”

(Damian is confused)

–

“Oh, you brought your son!”

“No, I brought my husband, what are you talking about” *turns to Damian* *screams* *falls to her knees to clutch Damian to her chest* “BRUCE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, YOU SHRUNK”

(Damian’s so done)