2srooky:

Reasons I should have died as a child

1. I grabbed a 4ft alligator out of a pond in Florida when I was like 5, and held onto him for a while.

2. My sister ran me over with a golf cart like 5 Times at least

3. Another incident involving the golf cart was me riding in a hitched on metal cart used for utilities, which completely rolled over on our hardened dirt trail on the outskirts of the woods and warped the metal connection. How I didn’t break my teeth or any bone is beyond me.

4. I straight up almost drowned like 9 Times

5. The Full Body Fiberglass incident.

6. I got swine flu I was the only fucker in my community to get god damn swine flu and it was as miserable as the news stories made it out to be.

7. Electrocuted in the face with enough volts to stop a draft horse.

8. I got???? Stabbed????? Once???? In the CHEST????

9. My dad handed me a pistol in a grape field when I was 4 and just told me “shoot it.” And I did. (Note- I’m a good shot)

10. I GOT STABBED IN THE CHEST ONCE???????

11. Whiplash on the trampoline so severe I was unconscious for 1 minute and my sister thought she killed me (this was probably where I actually died)

Anyway I think I’m actually a ghost and just am really good at using technology.

I need elaboration on pretty much all of these stories, especially 2, 5, 7, and 8.