kyraneko:

poeticartistfromgothamcity:

So I’m watching HGTV and I’m just wondering how none of these people ever ask for a library ??? They all want huge kitchens, and open floor plans and none of them mention a library?! Come on Jane, how tf are you spending $940,000 on a home with NO library?!? You uncultured swine.

Now I want a househunters/remodel type show except instead of the adventures of a plant-container matchmaker and an internet survey filler and their six hundred thousand dollar budget, it’s people with odd tastes or lifestyle quirks that have some particular special requirement for their new house to have and the hosts get in charge of finding a home and having it put in, presumably looking like Steve Harvey losing his faith in humanity the whole time.

Like, Dorothy and Janice want a dining room inspired by the Paris Catacombs, complete with bones stacked up the walls and woven into the ceiling. Aaron is hugely into botany and wants to turn all the spare bedrooms into three entirely different microclimates and the hosts are begging him to put the rainforest plants in the bathroom because at least it’s built to handle humidity already but you can’t fit them all and anyway he wants to keep it to a strict carnivorous plants only scheme. 

Damien wants to turn the whole basement into a model train setup and sets the hosts to building a mountain around the furnace and water heater. Cassandra and Alex and their kids want as many secret passageways, doors, and tunnels as can be fit into the house without breaking code. 

Eric wants a swimming pool in the basement, Jeanette wants a climbing wall in the attic, Tom and Lisa want a completely authentic fifties house with fifties-era everything, Monica and Vicky and Tamar have twenty-seven snakes, Tony wants everything in his house to look like a room on the starship Enterprise, Amber wants a church-sized pipe organ

and its three thousand pipes

in her living room , and Sasha wants leopard print walls and a two-thousand-gallon saltwater aquarium that requires reinforcing the foundation.