smarterest:

Avengers Facts:

• everyone always makes a point to reiterate that Natasha could be wearing a full on ball gown and heels and not have a shred of tactical equipment or weaponry on her and still chase after and expertly assassinate u, but no one ever forgets that Clint has done the exact same thing to the tee. The teal made his eyes pop.
• Tony is allowed to call Natasha, “Natashalie”.
• Steve is wayyy smarter than people give him credit for and would totally fuck with people (read: tony) when they think he doesnt understand tech stuff, prank others using that tech knowledge, blame it on another avenger, and then get away with it and watch the chaos unfold like a soap opera.
• Bruce has been caught reclining in the living room with tea while knitting and saying into a phone, “What do you mean she didn’t go for it? honestly, pepper, if u don’t start a lawsuit, i will.” No one has any idea to this day what they were talking about but they still tease him about it relentlessly.
• Thor does something similar to the Steve thing where he’ll pretend he doesn’t know something so when someone tries to explain it, he makes them go into EXCRUCIATING detail about it no matter how awkward the subject is for like hours, mostly as a test to see how long his act can hold up. It’s been getting better with time.
• Natasha Romanoff loves matchmaking but she’s not that smooth or completely sauve with her own love life when it really matters.
• James “Rhodey” Rhodes is the absolute BEST FRIEND in the whole ENTIRE goddamn WORLD forEVER. everyone should aspire to be a Rhodey.
• Bucky Barnes is a fantastic friend, but also an absolute SHITHEAD and will MERCILESSLY prank u or embarrass u in front of ur date or write on ur face while ur sleeping. the worst part is, unless u know him or ur Steve, u would never expect it.
• Pepper Potts is the most capable, trustworthy woman in the world but when she’s drunk off her ass, she giggles a lot, embarrasses her friends (read: Tony) with hilarious stories about them, and voluntarily breaks into song if whatever ur saying is also a famous lyric.
• Sam Wilson is fair, understanding, and supportive but if u eat his leftovers and leave the foil or takeaway box in the fridge afterward, all bets are off and u need to flee the country immediately.
• For three weeks someone keeps anonymously sending emails and texts and tacking notes in places they’ll see with really dumb bird puns to both Sam and Clint. Immediately everyone assumes it was Tony. Who else could it possibly be?
• It was not Tony. It was Steve.
• Rhodey is always called when Tony has a Stupid And Potentially Dangerous Idea because everyone assumes he’ll talk him out of it. This is a mistake. Most of the time, he does, but sometimes you’ll catch Rhodey saying “it’s gonna WHAT? Hold on, I’ll be over in five do not start without me”
• Steve once walked out of his room at 3am and when he was halfway to the living room and heard an intense screamo/electric pop music mashup playing, a thunderous crash that lasted for fifteen seconds, Clint groaning, Tony shrieking, and Thor laughing a touch too maniacally, he turned right back around in what he later describes as a tactical retreat.
• Rhodey and Tony have a secret handshake they made up at MIT. when people find out, they assume they’ll be embarrassed or deny it. Not only are they wrong, they will be subjected to a demonstration of it and if they’re REALLY lucky, they’ll get to see the full version. I’m not saying it includes light shows and projectiles, but that is exactly what I’m saying.
• Everyone helps out with team dinners at least once, but Bruce is always a constant. be careful not to piss him off though. he’ll get u back in such a way that if u confront him about it he’ll turn it on u until u start to believe u imagined the copious amounts of crushed ghost pepper in ur chicken.
• The Avengers can sit through Titanic, The Notebook, and Up without crying, but they don’t stand a chance against Marley & Me. Thor and Clint will be openly sobbing, Steve will be curled in on himself with his face in his hands, Bruce will need to leave the room, Tony will have tears streaming down his face as he babbles about why no one should ever get a dog ever forever and why they’re getting one first thing in the morning, and Natasha will be clearing her throat and wiping at her eyes as subtly as possible.