newts-in-hats:

smelly-children:

what’s owning a tiger salamander like?

well, you play games! Like “Find Your Son”:

Usually followed by “Your Son Has Seen You!”

Followed enevitably by “Your Son Thinks You’re Dinner and Will NOT! Let Go!”

This has been a comprehensive guide on what owning a tiger salamander is like. Thank you.

Eleven has scared the living fuck out of me multiple times. I open her enclosure, can’t find her, then

“HERE I AM LORG WORM I WILL DEVOUR YOU”

she emerges like a great white shark from the substrate.. and chomps my finger..