hello-kitty-senpai:

hello-kitty-senpai:

my favorite part of babysitting is when a kid catches me eating something and im like “if you dont tell anyone you saw me eat an entire thing of bananas you can say a swear when im here”

kids fucking love to say swear words they could catch me eating a pound of uncooked bacon and wouldn’t say fuck all to anybody as long as i let them say ass 

theyre the easiest set of people to bribe ever 

UPDATE: My niece caught me eating doritos out of the bag and drinking tea directly from the pitcher and I told her if she didn’t tell anyone she could say “bastard” next time she got frustrated with something

She didn’t tell anyone about me drinking directly from the pitcher and 10 minutes later I heard her call her shoe a bastard and then collapse into laughter.

children are amazing