vampireapologist:

cows are so wild like here I am walking through a field surrounded by 30, 1200 pound animals who are Fully Convinced I am capable of killing them with my bare hands so they are dutifully cautious of me

but then sometimes they suddenly think “hey wait…maybe WE could kill HER” and they start getting uppity so I have to pick up a stick and walk toward them as if I could do anything about it and they think

“oh hm wait….she has a branch now……… … We wouldn’t stand a chance……”