romanimp:

fencing coach: how are your legs feeling after that workout?

me: sore

fencing coach: [[suddenly in a Russian accent]] Good. Make your thighs big as mother Russia. You know what they say about women with big thighs, yes?

me: [[also in a Russian accent]] Can crush head between legs like watermelon.

fencing coach:

fencing coach: [[still in a Russian accent]] You and I…we have very different fantasies