glumshoe:

Me, combing through my cat’s fur, looking for fleas the medication didn’t manage to kill: “Do you realize what I’m doing for you? I’m grooming you. I am plucking insects out of your fur. It’s an ancient tradition among my people and is just something you’re going to have to deal with since you let monkeys domesticate you. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

My cat: [reluctant purring]