nonasuch:

Over the last week or so I have had a bunch of conversations with neurotypical people who want me to ‘challenge myself’ and ‘get out of my comfort zone’ but actually what they mean is ‘do things that require 10 times as much effort for your ADHD ass to get half the return’ and I am getting a little bit frustrated. Some of the stuff they want me to do is stuff I should do! Most of it is stuff I would very much like to do! None of it is stuff I have the executive function to actually do consistently or well!

When I try to explain why this is not going to be as easy as they are making it sound, I end up using language that is not clear in the ways I need it to be clear. Because when you say ‘that is going to be difficult for me because I do not have a normal person’s brain’ what they hear is ‘I need a pep talk about how there’s Nothing Wrong With Me and I Just Need To Try!’ which. thank you. but no.

So the metaphor I think I will be trying to use, going forward, is this: 

Imagine that people’s brains are vehicles. 

Most brains are cars. 

My brain is a Vespa. 

There is nothing wrong with having a Vespa! It is a perfectly nice vehicle to have! It is not inherently inferior or superior to other kinds of vehicles! In fact, it can get you to some places that cars can’t go, via routes that cars can’t take!

But. The world is mostly built with the assumption that people are going to be getting places by car. Some parts of it are designed for cars in ways that make it pretty hard to ride a Vespa down the same route. Most of the time, when we are taught to drive, we are given the car-driving instructions. So if you don’t have a car, there is a whole lot of trial and error involved in learning to operate your vehicle safely. 

And if you try to drive your Vespa like a car, you are going to get wrecked.