bettsplendens:
- Lighthouse face
- Gyroscope head
- Spirit of every greyhound ever
- Nightmare cheetah
- Jumbo bowl of danger noodles
- Annoyed linguine
- Scourge of the underworld’s zebras
- Acid-trip lamppost
- Extremely lanky potato
- French bread loaf
- Slenderman’s weird cousin
- That weird scratching noise outside at night
- Spookiness
- Land barracuda
- Greyhound ninja
- IDK but he’s weird
- The physical embodiment of the “no” stare
- A cat’s sass in physical form
- Escaped garbage disposal
- Discount paper shredder
- Be-legged python
- Disembodied irritated stare
- Three raccoons in a trenchcoat
- Father of all raccoons
- Sassbucket
- Five and a half underweight hellhounds
- Like seventeen hairless cats
- Approximately 115 mutated piranha
- Under-bed monster
- Closet noisemaker
- Bypasser of evolution
- Evoker of WTFs
- Heck if I know
- Genius
- Luv
- Best friend
- Probably literal soulmate
- Son of a stovepipe
- Santa Claus’ assistant for houses with small chimneys
- Secretly an eel
- Pikefish on stilts
- A large bundle of shadows and eyeballs
- Bony scarf
Published
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