YUP, THAT’S WHY. CATS ARE BIG DUMMIES AND OFTEN SEE NO REASON WHY TWO DIFFERENT DOORS SHOULD LEAD TO THE SAME PLACE, SO THEY FIGURE THEY’LL CHECK IF IT’S ALSO RAINING IN THE OTHER OUTSIDE BEHIND THE OTHER DOOR.
WHEN THE PROPRIETOR OF THIS BLOG WAS A CHILD, THE KITCHEN LED INTO THE DINING ROOM, WHICH LED INTO THE LIVING ROOM, WHICH LEAD INTO THE FRONT HALLWAY, WHICH LED BACK INTO THE KITCHEN, SO WHEN THE CATS WERE HUNGRY, THEY WOULD CHECK THEIR BOWLS, SEE THAT THEY WERE EMPTY, AND WALK ALL THE WAY AROUND THE HOUSE TO SEE IF THE OTHER BOWLS IN THE OTHER KITCHEN WERE ALSO EMPTY.
why is everyone screaming
FOR AN ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION, I ADVISE YOU TO LOOK AT THE TITLE OF THIS BLOG.
Yep. “Not a Death-Eater” and “Entertaining” were his motives for hiring teachers. A teacher being able to actually TEACH THE SUBJECT doesn’t seem to have ever made the list of requirements.
Lupin seemed to do well at actually teaching the subject though
some dudes like to talk a big game about how comedy suffers when people are afraid to offend but man, Mitch Hedberg was a white dude working in the era of peak offensive edgelord and his shit holds the fuck up so while most comedians will never come up with anything as timeless as “if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up” they could at least make an effort
Every McDonald’s commercial ends the same way, right? “Prices and participation may vary.” I wanna open a McDonald’s and not participate in anything. I wanna be a stubborn McDonald’s owner. I’ll say “Cheeseburgers? Nope. We got spaghetti! And blankets! We are not affiliated with that clown.”
Every book is a children’s book if the kid can read.
I would like to have a product that was available for three easy payments and one fuckin’ complicated payment. We can’t tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch! The mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination! Good luck, fucker! That last payment must be made in wampum!
Hey, if you wanna talk to me after the show, I’ll be… fuckin’ surprised.
This shirt is “dry-clean only”… Which means it’s dirty.
One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture is of you when you were younger. “Here’s a picture of me when I’m older.” “You son-of-a-bitch! How’d you pull that off? Lemme see that camera… What’s it look like? ”
An escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. You would never see an “Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order” sign, just “Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
I play golf. I’m not good at golf, I never got good. I never got a hole-in-one. But I did hit a guy. And that’s way more satisfying. You’re supposed to yell “Fore!” but I was too busying mumbling “There ain’t no way that’s gonna hit him.”
When you’re in Hollywood and you’re a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things besides comedy. They say “All right you’re a stand up comedian, can you act? Can you write? Write us a script.” They want me to do things that’s related to comedy, but it’s not comedy. That’s not fair. It’s as though if I was a cook, and I worked my ass off to become a good cook, and they said “All right you’re a cook… can you farm?”
I got a king-sized bed. I don’t know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he’d be comfortable.
I find that a duck’s opinion of me is largely influenced by whether or not I have bread.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re goin’, and hook up with them later.
Rice is really great if you’re hungry and wanna eat two thousand of something.
Trees, like animals, can also experience albinism, though it is extremely rare.
the reason it’s rare is because without chlorophyll, the plant can’t get energy, and dies shortly after sprouting unless it has some other source of food. so if you see a plant as big as the one in the picture that doesn’t have any green in its leaves, it’s getting its nutrition from the roots of a neighboring plant of the same species, feeding on the sugars created by the other plant’s photosynthesis.
albino plants are basically vampires.
thats metal af
VAMPIRE PLANTS
There are multiple species of trees that are known to feed other trees of the same species through their roots, on purpose, if the other trees aren’t doing very well. I’d imagine this might be the same thing, so willing vampirism.
BettSplendens Tumblr Evac 