So my mom likes to dictate her texts instead of typing them.

karkats-secret-blog:

wingolight:

skelliesontoast:

The thing is, my mom swears a lot, and she’s often at home with my impressionable little brothers. So she programmed her phone to type “bitch” whenever she said “B” and “f**k” whenever she said “F.” For a while, we all thought this was a pretty clever idea.
Yesterday, she sent me a picture of my brother sitting in his car seat and crying. The caption was, “he got stung by a bumblebitch!!! ”

no you DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS IS GOLD

Oh my god