silbrig-guelden:

Like just stop for a second with the “grey ace” and “demisexual” and “sapiosexual” labels and think about what it says about our pornofied, oversexualized society that “wanting to get to know people before having sex with them” and “wanting your sexual partner to have a good, compatible personality” and “not wanting to fuck everyone you meet” are now considered atypical sexual orientations instead of common fucking sense.

That’s not what everyone is saying, though.

People who are demisexual are not attracted to someone they don’t have an emotional relationship with. Physical attraction does not happen until they know the person emotionally. There is a massive difference between “I don’t know that person, so I’m not attracted to them” and “I don’t know that person, so I won’t have sex with them, but they’re hot anyway”. A lot of people choose not to have sex with attractive people that they don’t know, whereas demisexual people are not physically attracted to strangers. 

It’s the same reason why being celibate does not mean you’re asexual- there is a difference between not acting on attraction and not being attracted in the first place.

Sapiosexual people are turned on by intelligence, not compatible personality. This technically might be closer to a fetish than a sexuality, but it’s definitely something that people experience, and it has nothing to do with personality.

Grey asexual people are a bit more complicated to sum up. The closest summary is probably “I am generally not attracted to people but it happens every now and then”, but it’s something of a catch-all term for people who are near asexual but occasionally experience physical attraction to others. It may also indicate people who are asexual but have a strong libido, or who aren’t quite comfortable calling themselves asexual for other reasons.

Also, there is nothing shameful about wanting to have sex with strangers. It would be shameful to expect that of others, but close relationships are not necessary for sex. Nor are sexual encounters with strangers necessarily unhealthy, as long as common sense is used in choosing partners.