Imagine Soundwave doing the knead on someone’s things who he trust. Megatronus jokes that he could run an illegal bakery out of Kaon just by sticking some energon dough under Soundwave’s servos and petting him so they could buy their way out of Kaon.

Soundwave gives him the Unamused Cat Look. It’s a bit less serious than usual because he’s still purring.

Imagine Orion smuggling towels, energon, painkillers, and noise-canceling headphones into the pits of Kaon and basically setting up his own tiny station in one of the cramped, dark corners of the gladiators’ quarters during tournaments. Soundwave and Megatronus usually scare off anyone who would try to ask for help by their mere presence, but soon word gets around that a little archivist has medical supplies and two of Kaon’s top gladiators wrapped around his little finger and wants to help.

Tiny, adorable archivist befriends approximately half of Kaon’s gladiator population, other half is beaten up and/or stabbed for threatening tiny adorable archivist.

Megatronus voice: Orion, hold my Soundwave

Orion awkwardly attempts to juggle data-cables for a few seconds before giving up and draping Soundwave over one shoulder.

Soundwave just cackles sleepily the entire time.

Cuddling is probably a way of forging alliances within the Gladiator community, and Megatronus probably cuddles with a lot of people, but only for short periods of time. The people he spends the most time with are absolutely Soundwave and Orion once he shows up. Soundwave’s considered kinda weird in that he doesn’t really interact much with anyone else and only really snuggles up to Megatron, Orion, or his cassettes (not that he gets invitations to cuddle from anyone else).

Soundwave would prefer not to let anyone else near him and all his exposed protoform. When he is comfortable, though, he flops down all over someone like a cat and lazily wraps them in tentacles.

I think a lot about Pits of Kaon gladiator cuddlepuddles before and after a match. Just…Megatron and Soundwave curled up together trying to catch some shuteye for a few hours before they go out to fight, or plopping down in each other’s laps for 15 minutes between events. And you bet Orion is absolutely involved in the cuddlepuddles. He’s often spotted in the gladiator quarters of the arena stroking Megatronus’s helm with one servo and loosely holding Soundwave’s tentacle in the other.

Good way to stay sane in a place where nearly everyone is trying to kill you- lots of contact with whoever isn’t.

zoologicallyobsessed:

I don’t care if orcas were housed in the biggest tank known to man. It still won’t be big enough or provide the orcas with their basic needs. Keeping orcas is cruel, no matter how big the tank is.

queerpotters:

sherlocksmyth:

I have a friend who is dyslexic and one time he said “I put the sexy into dyslexia” and he waited for like thirty seconds and just went “fuck.”

#percy jackson

On becoming a sheriff

woodysroundup:

Howdy folks! This here’s Sheriff Woody, but you can just call me Woody! I’m part of the roundup gang, with Jessie, Bullseye, and Stinky Pete! Not to mention, tons of other pardners joined the gang, and at a rapid fire pace too, YEEE HAW!.

Now some of y’all may be wondering, what does it take to become part of the roundup gang? How does one become a sheriff? That I will tell step by step:

Be on the lookout for some bandits and varmints. You could find em through seein them say real nasty stuff. To know who’s a bandit or varmint, come in contact with me, the Sheriff.

Now from here, go right ahead and check if they passed on from this big blue Wild West. Doin that simply takes a hoverin over their name, and if you see a “Deactivated”, that’s your cue to ride like the wind to the scene!

Now, a “Deactivated” could mean two things. One of em means that they’ve already been taken care of, so their hollow corpse can’t be used tor feasting. Another means that they simply passed on and deleted. And if they went n deleted, well, you know what you gotta do!

Claim your prize and set your theme up! Leave everything at its defaults besides the title, which should be changed to “Howdy Pardner”, and the icon to this:

Thank you all, and always remember….YERMA FAVRITE DEPUTEE

I do not advise handling black swallowtail caterpillars just before lunchtime.

ponticat:

earthyqueer:

superyouandinvisibleme:

“You can’t be asexual because you don’t reproduce by self-replicating” is basically the same argument as “Your nose can’t be running because it doesn’t have feet.”

oh my god

this is going on my list of fave asexual posts